Daughters need their Daddies |

Regardless of what you think or what you’ve been through, daughters needs their daddies! A fatherless daughter is a woman who has grown up without a father present in her life, either because he was  physically absent or emotionally unavailable. This usually lead to feelings of  resentment,abandonment, emptiness, and a sense of being unloved or unwanted. Growing up without a father can also create challenges in engaging and maintaining relationships, as well as difficulties in navigating and understanding their own emotions.

The importance of fathers involvement

The importance of fathers involvement in a child’s life cannot be overemphasized. Despite the common myth of single motherhood and the false notion that men are marginal figures in parenting, fathers play a vital role in their children’s development and well-being. While some may point out  that single mothers have often been successful in raising strong and capable  children without active  involvement of fathers, the reality is that fathers are essential to the healthy growth and progression of their children.

It is important to recognize the value and importance of fathers in parenting and to support their involvement in their children’s lives. Having a father present in a  child’s life especially child child  can be very beneficial as it can provide her with a positive male role model and influence. A father can serve as a daughter’s first male friend, first love, protector, and comforter, and their relationship can shape her future views on and interactions with the male gender. When fathers are absent in a home , either physically or emotionally, our lovely girls grow up as fatherless daughters and this may lead them to seek the emotional support and validation which they missed from their fathers from other men who often abuse and damage them the more. The absence of a father figure in a girls life   leave her feeling inadequate and worthless.

RELATED:The Father Wound: The Agony Of Daughters Deprived Of Fathers Love

Whenever a father is present but emotionally  unavailable or physically absent, his absence leaves a permanent mark on a daughter’s mind throughout her entire life. Barras (2000) estimates that in the United States alone four out of every ten children are fatherless. As previously mentioned on this blog, the absence of a father can have a detrimental effect on children in a number of ways, including on a biological level (Lopez & Corona, 2012).

According to Krohn and Bogan (2001), children who grow up without a father are more likely to face certain challenges. In 1997, the authors found that fatherlessness was implicated in 63% of young people who committed suicide, 71% of high school dropouts, 90% of homeless runaway children, and 85% of young people who ended up in prison. Additionally, compared to daughters raised in households with both parents, those who were raised without a father had a 164% higher chance of becoming single parents as adults. According to data from 2011, children who live in fatherless households are more likely to experience poverty. Precisely, 44% of children in mother-only households were living in poverty, compared to just 12% of children in married-couple households. The list is endless. The effect of fatherlessness is very pervasive.

Given widely held misconception on parenting, gender norms and mother’s biological connection to her offspring and recent aware of the significance of father-child relationships, especially  fathers – daughters relationship. This article, will  highligh the effects of emotionally and physically absent dads on their daughters.

In my work as a sociologist and social worker I have met countless number of women who are damaged psychologically due to the loss of a father.  

Take the case of Kate:

Kate grew up with a father who was always away from home. Whenever he was around, he usually came back late and would go straight to his room and lock himself in with the instruction that nobody should disturb him. He only comes out to watch his favourite television show or eat, and then heads back to his room. Kate’s mom would always make excuses for him by telling Kate and her siblings not to disturb their “daddy” because he was tired and in a bad mood. Occasionally, Kate’s father would return home drunk and frighten everybody at home.

In fact, Kate and her siblings were always happy whenever their father was not around. Across the road was Susan, Kate’s best friend, whose father was always around and usually played with his kids. He was the direct opposite of Kate’s father. Kate will always watch them from her balcony and will wish she had a father like Susan’s. She grew up feeling unloved, insecure, and with resentment towards her father.  Kate issue continues into her adulthood, she struggles with intimate relationships.  

Kate’s unhealthy relationship with her father is significantly affecting her ability to form and maintain relationships with men. Feeling unloved and insecure as a child can lead to low self-esteem and difficulty trusting others, particularly in the context of romantic relationships. It is not unusual for women like Kate who have experienced emotional or physical neglect in their childhood to struggle with trust, intimacy, and attachment in their adult relationships.

RELATED:10 Notable Characteristics of an Absentee Father

7 Ways father’s absenteeism can negatively impact their daughters

It is well-established that a supportive and loving father can have a positive impact on a girl child’s development and well-being. Research has shown that fathers who are actively involved in their daughters’ lives can protect against a range of negative outcomes, such as early sexual initiation, teenage pregnancy, and risky sexual behavior. On the other hand, when fathers are absent or not actively involved in their daughters’ upbringing, there is a higher risk of negative outcomes. These can include challenges in forming and maintaining relationships, difficulties in navigating and understanding emotions, and a sense of abandonment or lack of belonging. It is important for fatherless daughters to seek support and find healthy ways to cope with these challenges

1. Fatherless daughters, trust Issues and difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships

It is not surprising for women/girls to have trust issues as a result of childhood experiences with their fathers or other significant male figures in their lives. These trust issues can be evident in a number of ways, including struggle with intimate relationships, and struggle with emotional vulnerability. Girls with positive father and daughter relationship are often have a stronger sense of self-acceptance, knowing that there is at least one man who loves and supports them. This can also lead to a sense of security and self-worth, which can help them feel more confident and self-assured. It is not the same with girls who grew up in fatherless households.

Numerous studies has shown that  women who had absent fathers as kids have trouble forming enduring relationships, because they are afraid of being hurt again. They childhood experience of father’s rejection has left them damaged. Either on intentionally or not, they tend to be commitment averse and avoid having deep relationships with others. They might engage in superficial relationships one in which they don’t reveal much of themselves and put little time and energy into forging long-term relationships. Many adult women who have experienced father absence often express uncertainty about what to expect in romantic relationship.

2. Fatherless daughters and Early sexual debut and risk of teenage pregnancy

Research has shown fatherless daughters face increased risk of variety of negative outcomes, including early sexual debut and an increased risk of teenage pregnancy. The reasons are not farfetched.

Father involvement in daughters life can protect her against a number of negative outcomes, including early sexual initiation, teenage pregnancy, dating violence, and risky sexual behavior. When fathers have strong, trusting relationships with their daughters that are characterized by open communication and frequent contact, these negative outcomes are even less likely to occur. Father involvement is an important factor in promoting healthy outcomes for daughters.

One reason may be that this girls may lack of adequate supervision and guidance and thus may be more likely to engage in risky behavior, including early sexual activity. Furthermore, they may also be more likely to seek out relationships with older partners, who may be more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and may be less likely to use protective measures.

Another possible reason that implicates father absence in early sexual debut and teenage pregnancy is that growing up in fatherless household may also induce other risk factors such as poverty or a lack of access to education, which can increase the risk of early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy.

3. Fatherless daughters have High Risk of Depression

It should come as no surprise that fatherless daughters or girls who had emotionally  absent fathers as kids are more likely to experience depression as adults. These women usually isolate themselves out of a fear of being abandon and rejected. They shy away from healthy relationships because they don’t feel worthless and are always afraid of being hurt, but they may end up in toxic relationships and end up heartbroken. 

In any case, the women are in danger emotionally and typically experience depression.

4. Fatherless daughters have  assertiveness problem

Girls who had emotionally absent fathers find it extremely difficulty being assertive in life. They are often timid and docile in a number of ways. A daughter who lacks a positive relationship with her father may find it difficulty standing up for herself and expressing her needs in public. This partly due to lack of a healthy model of assertiveness, low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in herself, which makes it difficult for her to assert herself or  communicate her boundaries and needs effectively  to others. She often feels that her opinions are not valuable and feel very timid expressing it.

5.Fatherless daughters have diminished cognitive development and tend to  poorly in school

According to Krohn and Bogan (2001), there is consensus among researchers that females who do not have a father figure present in their lives are more likely to have impaired cognitive development and perform poorly in school.

One possible explanation for the link between a lack of a father figure and negative outcomes is that fathers often play important roles in children’s lives as caregivers, providers of emotional support, and role models. When fathers are not present, children may miss out on these important sources of support and guidance, which can potentially affect their cognitive development and school performance. However, it is important to recognize that this is just one possible explanation and that other factors may also be at play.

6. Fatherless daughters struggle with sense of value, identity and self-worth

Fathers play a crucial role in their daughter’s development, both emotionally and psychologically. A father’s absence can have a significant impact on a daughter’s sense of identity, value and self-worth. When a father is not present in a daughter’s life, she may feel a lack of guidance and support. She will struggle to understand her own feelings and emotions, and may have difficulty developing a strong sense of self. This can lead to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in herself and her abilities. Additionally, a father’s absence can cause a daughter to feel a sense of rejection or abandonment. She may feel that she is not good enough or that she is not worthy of her father’s love and attention. This can cause her to doubt her own value and worth, leading to further struggles with her sense of identity.

7. Fatherless daughters have problem with stress management

A father’s  absenteeism always have detrimental outcome girl child ability to manage stress. It can affect her coping skills and ability to handle difficult situations. Daughters who do not have a present or emotionally involved father may struggle with trusting and relying on others. This makes it harder for them to seek help or support from friends, family, or professionals when they are stressed or in difficult situations. This may also make them more predisposed to engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or self-harm, in order to cope with their emotions.

Conclusion

It’s worth mentioning that not all daughters who grow up in fatherless households experience negative outcomes.  Again, the impact of father absenteeism can vary greatly from one individual to another. Nonetheless, father absenteeism can have a significant impact on daughters.  Hence it is very essential for fathers to be present and involved in their children’s live

Works cited

Barras, J.B. (2000). Whatever happened to daddy’s little girl: The impact of
fatherlessness on black women. New York: The Ballantine Publishing Group.

Dowd, Nancy. The Man Question : Male Subordination and Privilege, New York University Press, 2010. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/uow/detail.action?docID=865987.

Krohn, F. B., & Bogan, Z. (2001). The effects absent fathers have on female development and college attendance. College Student Journal, 35(4)

Lopez, V. & Corona, R. (2012). Troubled relationships: high-risk Latina adolescents and nonresident fathers. Journal of Family Issues, 33(6):715-744.         [ Links ]

Dr. Edward Omeire

Dr. Edward Omeire is the founder and editor in chief of Men’s Central Blog, where he oversees all editorial content across its web platforms. He is a sociologist, a street photographer and content writer.He holds a PhD in Sociology and lectures at Federal University of Technology, Owerri- a leading tertiary institution in Nigeria. He has several publications in peer-reviewed journals. He is passionate about men’s health, inclusive masculinity,fatherhood,family life, relationship, aging and more. He encourages men to be open about their struggles and pains. He wants to support them in their vulnerability, helping them to find their feet, and strengthening them as they move out into the world again.

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