Every man wants to be a great dad
Every man wants to be a great dad. We all want to provide for our kids, protect them, be present for them, and show them love and support they need to thrive. According to Kobi being a great dad is a great responsibility, and a lot of men are not aware of this until they find themselves in the situation and then they start trying to figure it out. Most men desire to be great Dads but they lack the skill to fulfil this role because they grew up with a badass dad who was never a good role model of best father figure.
Growing up under an abusive father or an absent and emotionally unavailable father can be a very traumatic experience. Whether your father was absent, abusive, or simply didn’t care, his behavior leaves a lasting impact on your life.
In fact several studies have shown that children who grow up without a loving and supportive father are more likely to end repeating same. It’s quite natural to think that you may repeat the same mistakes of your father when it’s your turn to be a father.
However, you don’t need to wallow in self-pity, if you fell into this category, all hope is not lost! The good news is you can break the cycle of terrible fathering and become an amazing dad to your own children.
Statistics are just figures, your experience is in the past and they don’t define your destiny.
I’ve met countless men who had terrible father figures but rose above their upbringing to become amazing dads themselves. Despite their ugly past experiences and the scars it left, they were able to break the cycle of bad parenting. You can chart a different course and future for yourself and become a loving father to your family.
You can be the great dad that your child deserves, despite having an ugly past. In this blog post, we’ll share six sure-proof ways to be a great dad, even if you had a badass dad. From building a learning from your past to building support system , we’ve got you covered. So, whether you’re a new dad or have been parenting for a while, keep reading to learn how to be the best dad possible for your child.
6. SURE PROOF WAYS TO BE A GREAT DAD
1. Learn from your past
Fatherhood is life-changing experience that comes with great responsibility. If you had ugly experience with your father and you don’t want to repeat the same mistake one of the best start is by taking time to reflect and learn from your past.
As you reflect about your past, write out the things you disliked about his parenting style and it affected your life. Was your father absent, was he abusive, or simply unavailable?
Once you are done with this process, make an intentional effort to avoid them. Be intentional about creating a different parenting style that is unique to you and your child. Seek out resources like books, podcasts, or counseling to help you learn more about good parenting techniques.
2. Seek out positive role models and mentors
We all know that boys usually look up to their fathers as role models, but unfortunately, not all fathers are good examples. So if you had a toxic father who didn’t set a good example for you of what a good father should be like. It’s very natural to feel lost and unsure about how to be a good father to your kids.
No need to worry. I have good news for you. If you look around you, in your community, workplace or place of worship you can see many male role model who exemplifies the traits and values of great fatherhood. Connect with them and learn from them. This is one of the best methods to cultivate value and character. This role model may be a relative, a close friend, or even a famous person whose parenting philosophy you respect.
By observing how this role model relates with their children, and handles challenging situations, you can gain valuable insights on how to be a supportive and loving father.
In addition to observing, you can also reach out to them for tips on parenting. Most people very happy and willing to share their wisdom and experiences with you.
The goal here is not perfection, remember as a father you will not always have all the answers and being a great father isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being available, present, loving, patient, and willing to grow as a parent.
So, don’t hesitate seek help or a positive role models who can help you in this journey of becoming the best father to your family.
Always be mindful of this -you are not your father, and your past does not determine who you will become.
This ugly cycle can be broken, and you and your child can go on a new road. Seize this opportunity, become intentional and work towards being the best father you can be.
3. Be present and engaged
As a fathers, one of best gifts you can give to our children is the gift of present and available – physically and emotionally. It very easy to be engrossed and wrapped up in our own world and forget to be present with our kids. However, being present and engaged is crucial for building strong connections with our children.
Whenever you want to spend time with your kids, it’s very vital you aim at to giving them your full attention. This means putting away your phone, turning off the TV, and focusing on your child. When you do this, you’re sending a strong message to your child that you value and that they are more important to you.
Below are few ways to be present and engaged with your kids
a) Listen to what they have to say – Children always seek for attention. They wants to be heard and understood. Whenever your child is talking to you, take the pain and listen actively and don’t just nod while working on your laptop. Show interest in what they’re saying and ask follow-up questions.
b) Show enthusiasm – Kids are naturally curious and excited about the world around them. When your child is telling you about something they’re interested in, show enthusiasm and excitement. This will encourage your child to continue sharing with you and will help them feel supported.
c) Engage in activities together – Spending time together doing activities you both enjoy is a great way to build a stronger connection. It could be playing a game, talking a walk, or singing together, these shared experiences as little as they are create a life time memories in their mind.
d) Create a distraction-free environment – Distractions like phones and TVs can take away from the quality time you’re spending with your child. Create a distraction-free environment by turning off your phone and TV and focusing on your child.
e) Be patient and understanding – Kids can be unpredictable and sometimes they just need to vent or express their emotions. Be patient and understanding, even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. This will help your child feel safe and supported.
By being present and engaged with your kids, you’re not only building a stronger connection, but you’re also setting a positive example. You’re showing your child that they’re important and that they deserve your time and attention. This will help your child develop a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.
4. Show love and Support
If you want to be a good father, you must learn how to show your children that you love and support them. Knowing how to show your love and support for your own children can be difficult if you had a “badass” father as a youngster who was emotionally unavailable. But fear not—there are easy methods to show your children how much you care.
Telling your children that you love them is the most crucial thing to do. These three little words have the power to significantly impact your child’s life. Saying “I love you” to your child can make them feel special and safe, and it can also deepen your relationship with them.
But don’t stop at just words – show your love and support through your actions. This could be as simple as giving them a hug when they’re feeling down or telling them how proud you are of them when they achieve something. Small gestures like these can have a big impact on your child’s self-esteem and overall well-being.
Here are a few ways to show your love and support
a) Listen – When your child is talking to you, give them your full attention. This means putting away your phone and other distractions and actively listening to what they have to say.
b) Show affection – Physical touch is a powerful way to show your love and support. Give your child a hug, tell them you love them, hold their hand, or simply sit close to them on the couch.
c) Encourage them – Let your child know that you believe in them and their abilities. Encourage them to pursue their passions and take risks, and be there to support them when they fall.
d) Celebrate their successes – When your child achieves something, celebrate their success with them. This could be something as simple as giving them a high-five or taking them out for ice cream.
f)Spend quality time -Spend quality time with your kids and be fully present during those moments. Engage in activities that your child enjoys and show interest in their hobbies and passions.
By showing your love and support to your kids, you’re creating a positive and lasting relationship. You’re giving your child the emotional support they need to thrive and helping them develop a strong sense of self-worth. So, don’t be afraid to express your love and support in both words and actions.
5. Acknowledge your mistakes and apologize when necessary
Being a great dad can be a great struggle especially, if you were raise by a badass dad who was not very good at expressing his emotions or being there for you as a child. One of the most significant ways be a great dad is by recognizing and acknowledging your mistakes and apologize when necessary, and commit to learning and growing as a father.
Who said Dad don’t make mistakes, they are humans it’s normal to make mistakes. In raising Kids, it’s not the mistake that matters but your reaction when they happen. Maybe you raised your voice when you shouldn’t have or missed an important event in your child’s life. Whatever it the case may be, hiding your pride and acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing to them can go a long way in showing your child that you care about their feelings and respect them.
When you admit your wrong doing and apologies sincerely it help to trust and respect between you and your child. Additionally, it is a way of teaching your child the value of taking responsibility for their actions and owning up to their mistakes.
Committing to learning and growing as a parent is another crucial aspect of being a great dad. No one is perfect, and the biggest room in the world is room for improvement.
6. Build a support system
If you had a less-than-ideal role model growing up. It’s very easy to feel isolated and overwhelmed when you’re facing parenting challenges on your own, that’s why building a support system is essential. You need to surround yourself with people who can encourage and support you in times of distress. This can make the difference in your parenting journey.
Your spouse or partner can be one of your strongest allies in parenting. They know you and your child best and can offer valuable insights and perspectives.
Share the load of parenting tasks, and take turns being the primary caregiver. This can help you avoid feeling burnt out or overwhelmed.
Family members are a great source of support as well. They have a long-standing relationship with you and your child and can provide insightful counsel and daycare assistance.
Dad-friendly friends can also be a terrific source of support. They can provide guidance and support when you need it most since they are aware of the particular difficulties that fatherhood presents. Through neighborhood dad groups or online forums, try to connect with other dads in your neighborhood.
It’s crucial to prioritize your own self-care in addition to asking your loved ones for support. Spend some alone time rejuvenating and engaging in your own interests. This helps keep you motivated and involved in your position as a parent.
7. Show Unconditional Love
In breaking the cycle of negative behavior, it is crucial to demonstrate unconditional love towards your children. Make it clear to them that your love is unwavering, irrespective of their successes or failures. By doing so, you create a safe and supportive space where they can freely express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection. Show empathy and understanding, celebrating their achievements while providing comfort and guidance during challenging times. Through unconditional love, you foster a strong sense of self-worth and resilience in your children, enabling them to develop healthy relationships and navigate life’s obstacles with confidence. Remember, your love is a powerful force that has the potential to break the cycle and create a nurturing environment for your children to thrive .
8. Encourage and Support Their Dreams
Nurturing and supporting your children’s dreams aspirations by encouraging them to pursue their passions even when you never got that from your dad makes your a great dad. You need to demonstrate that you are not like your Dad by providing your kids with all needed support to achieve their dreams. You can do this by fostering a nurturing environment, which will help them grow and develop their talents. To be a great Dad you need to be your child’s biggest cheerleader, guiding them through challenges and celebrating their successes. Create opportunities for them to explore their interests, whether it’s through extracurricular activities, hobbies, or educational resources. Show them that you believe in their abilities and instill in them the confidence to overcome obstacles. By empowering your children to follow their dreams, you are giving them the tools to shape a bright and fulfilling future.
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